(my header is origonally by the amazing
MY BOOK IS LOCKED IN A CLASSROOMN
RED ASLERT
I TOLD THIS REALLY NICE KID WHO NEVER CAUSES TROUBLE AND HEREACHED INTO HIS BACKPACK AND PULLED OUT A KEYCHAIN WITH KEYS TO THE CLASSROOM AND UNLOCKED IT FOR ME??
update i asked him why he had those keys and he said “its not important” im so lost
50,903 notes (via lestrangerthrones & jonandtheon)
i’m not saying i’m batman but answer me this have you ever seen me and batman in the same room
(Source: lennonisheroin)
172,914 notes (via inkspelled & lennonisheroin)
why the fuck cant we text the police
lets say there is a murderer in ur house and you’re hiding behind your sofa and you do have your phone with you but you can’t call the police because the murderer might hear you
Relevant
110,552 notes (via inkspelled & hitlervevo)
681 notes (via pontmercyanide & incorrectlesmisquotes)
im gonna make a movie that’s titled “WILL SOMETHING SCARY HAPPEN?” and it will feature an hour and a half of someone walking around their house in the dark doing various things that COULD be the prelude to something scary but nothing actually scary will happen until after the credits when spooky scary skeletons will play
17,175 notes (via m4ge & brandisbigbootybitches)
Someday I hope you’ll remove all the butterflies from your stomach
and count them up one by one, then place them in a manila envelope
to keep for all the times you need to feel something;
then you can let them free again. I wish you knew that loneliness
is a hell of a…
1,400 notes (via pontmercyanide & writingsforwinter)
Shia LaBeouf live-tweets his acid trip.
3:15 AM – 7 Aug 12
OK everybody here goes nothing. I’m gonna light a cigarette. Where are my cigarettes. Brb going to Walgreens for cigs
3:45 AM – 7 Aug 12
the security guard at Walgreens is a crazy guy. there was fire coming out of his head and i told him your heads on fire and he just looked at me
3:46 AM – 7 Aug 12
i’m gonna light a cig
3:52 AM – 7 Aug 12
theres like 4 types of lettuce in this apt. i didnt even buy that much lettuce. what am i gonna do juggle lettuce. alright bye
3:56 AM – 7 Aug 12
indiana jones was the peak of my career. feel very aware that it’s all downhill from here
4:03 AM – 7 Aug 12
i resent my father camping out in my house. ok but get this, its fine… yeah its totally fine he can do whatever he wants. the end
4:08 AM – 7 Aug 12
is this entertaining. is this new media. i dont understand my feet
4:09 AM – 7 Aug 12
you guys ever watch that video of the double rainbow?
4:12 AM – 7 Aug 12
@frankiemunez who’s laughing now? who’s laughing now buddy… checkmate
4:14 AM – 7 Aug 12
my character hasnt seen his brother before. i figured that out. he doesnt even know he HAS a brother. but he doesss have a brother. complicated actually
4:28 AM – 7 Aug 12
i would have sex with lars von trier on camera. i would. but only if its dogme style. im a comedian guys
4:33 AM – 7 Aug 12
im nothing, im an idiot. how did i get here when nothing happened
4:44 AM – 7 Aug 12
what’s the difference btw mayonaise and mayo? is there a difference
4:46 AM – 7 Aug 12
who has my hand i want it back
4:48 AM – 7 Aug 12
i was lying before. will smith is good at rap
4:51 AM – 7 Aug 12
twitter is like the energy that links our brains together. mental lubricant
5:06 AM – 7 Aug 12
i’m wearing three watches and they all have different times. i have a watch on my ankle… damn you… sorry, i love u
5:14 AM – 7 Aug 12
yr gonna see me in yr dream cause i dont know where to live anymore
5:22 AM – 7 Aug 12
im done w this!! im nothing…
5:56 AM – 7 Aug 12
ok guys i dont really ‘get’ sigur ros but theyre beautiful anyway
70,967 notes (via yesizi & dustydanger)
Listen here you little fucks.
THIS
IS
NOT
FUCKING
OKAY.
DO NOT FUCKING COMPARE YAHOO BUYING TUMBLR TO SOMETHING THAT KILLED MILLIONS.
HOW FUCKING DARE YOU ALL.
YOU ALL MAKE ME SICK.
holy sHIT SOMETIMES THIS WEBSITE MAKES ME SICK TO MY GODDAMNED STOMACH. GROW THE FUCK UP.
8,894 notes (via awesomecoolwhip & the-beautiful-world)
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